Champagne Floozy: [sham-PEYN FLOO-zee], noun: 1. A woman of the early days of Champagne, before her time, who decided it was ok for women to partake in the drinking of Champagne. 2. A lifelong foodie turned wine industry professional based in Durham, NC.

Thursday, July 7, 2011


 I really dislike the misuse of the word "sommelier". It's so misleading, and it makes the person using it, more often than not, sound like an idiot. The use of the word "cheesemonger" is a similar sign that the person I am speaking to is ill-informed and full of themselves.

Let's be clear: Sommeliers work in restaurants (usually in places like Vegas or Manhattan.) They paid alot of money to an upstanding British organization to earn their title, and part of that money was used to prove they know how to cut a cigar. And they make a shit ton more money then I do. They do not own or use non-slip gloves that they purchased from Ingles for $2.78. They cannot handle a handtruck with 6 cases of wine on it, much less push it uphill as I do, daily. I could best them all in an arm wrestling contest.                                                   
I assure you, it's because we sell more wine. You can't move cases and cases a day without sturdy biceps. And the reason we sell a metric fuck-ton (look it up) of wine, daily, is because I work for a brilliant man who absolutely knows his shit. In a wine way.

A former co-worker of mine has a blog titled: The Wine Mule (it's good; read it), which points out the whole Beast of Burden aspect of what I do (and he did.) My boss once joked that we should put a handtruck in his coffin with him.

So to be clear: I am not a "sommelier", though I am more confident with each day that passes that I could hold my own with any of them, save for that cigar-cutting shit.